Reflective, long, lazy summer days… Relaxation and friendship. For the first time since becoming a mother, I appreciate and need/crave time away from the kids…time to interact with adults and do adult things. I LOVE my little kid/baby world, but the adult world is calling me, too.
Two words to describe my summer would be relaxing and fun. Of course, I did not accomplish everything on my “to-do” list (or even anything on my “to-do” list!) that I wrote back in June, but that is okay. I am learning to let go… I am learning to truly enjoy life.
While playing the role of the world’s biggest homebody (I LOVE being at home!), I also packed in some delightful entertainment! Meeting friends for lunch. Traveling to IKEA with a childhood friend. Taking photos with other photographers “just for fun” on the beach. Visiting wineries with friends. Shopping in Michigan City. Lunch at the Stray Dog in New Buffalo, MI (an awesome place!). Michigan’s Adventure. Craig’s Cruisers. Mini-golfing. The zoo. And countless trips to Lake Michigan…of course!
This year, I really started to love South Haven, MI. I also started appreciating Allegan, MI more, just walking around downtown, noticing (through a photographer’s eye) all of the beauty and uniqueness of this little town that we call home. Recently, I discovered Montage, a charming little market store that boasts delicious cheeses and crackers, homemade (to die for!) hummus, many gluten-free items, and wine! Lots and lots of wine! What a classy establishment! They’ve only opened shop for the past five months or so… Mmmm…!
So many joys: sights, sounds, tastes, smells, and feelings will always bring me back to the Summer of 2010. Book club – friendships, both old and new - yoga – decaffeinated green tea – sunsets at the beach - heart-to-heart “girl talks” – girls’ day at the salon - Montage - watching my baby daughter take her very first steps, two days shy of turning 10 months old - yummy food - Eat, Pray, Love – Bittersweet – laughter – crickets chirping at night while I type on my computer – Reilly’s 6th birthday and party – Addie’s Glamour Girl party – our wonderful babysitter Erin – cuddling with my baby every morning in my warm bed - fireworks – new connections to my hometown – limitless free time every day… LOVE summer!
I also cannot forget…my sandy kids, the sandy bathtub, the sandy floors, the sandy clothes and towels, the sandy car, my sandy self! But oh, the beauty of the beach and the sunset! We even spent some afternoons at the beach, too, soaking up a little sunshine and watching my kids make new friends while building sand castles and swimming together… Reilly and Addie learned to swim on their own. Reilly learned how to ride her bike without training wheels! She was so proud! We were so proud of her!
It was a joyful season! The perfect hiatus in a working woman’s life. Time to put my feet up, sit out on the deck, read a good book (or many good books!), and enjoy a glass of wine from time to time…
So random. So me.
Life… Soul searching made me dig deep and think about the future. Goals and dreams. My wishes. God’s will. Many times this summer, I found myself asking, Why?
What do I want? What are my talents and interests? How do I utilize my own abilities and ways of creating in this world? (I am not talking about photography…). I must create. A deeper essence lies within each one of us. Introspection leads us to questions about our own existence and our purpose while on this planet. That is what has been on my mind this summer.
I ask questions, and I believe the answers are slowly coming. When the time is right… The words “It is not the time” is the answer I have received. I think I had it all wrong, though. What I wanted was not what I was truly meant to do – or be – in life. This realization stopped me in my path this summer. Peace feels so much nearer now – now that I am “letting go” of it all – and I feel relief.
Letting go of something we love with our whole selves challenges us to grow…to move in a new direction… What I see ahead of me is not the path I thought I would travel in life, but I believe I am being led to ask new questions: Really? Who would have thought? The whole time…right here in front of me…and my heart was elsewhere, my will my own, which, of course did not work.
Today I marvel.
Tomorrow marks a new beginning. Another school year. In a way, I will feel a million miles away… To reach our true destination takes time and God’s will.
The possibilities are endless… A glimpse into this new season reveals me chasing after dreams, along with my children. Spontaneous and free-spirited, I ask why not? every day. This is how I live. I believe in more. I believe in dreams. I believe the people I will see tomorrow do not know me.
I want to live… I crave rich and varied experiences, meeting new people and visiting new places… I want to explore… I want to be free…
I want the freedom to __________. I want to fill in the blank. I do not want it to be filled in for me. I want the freedom to fill in the blank differently at times, whenever and wherever I please.
More adventure, more depth, more openness, more love, more peace… New people, new places, new foods, new ideas, new technology… Different settings, different perspectives, different flavors, different worlds, different minds… I want MORE!
